top of page
  • Writer's pictureSona Parmar

Apples and Oranges

All my life, I thought I was an orange.

Today, I found out I was an apple.

In the last few years, the hints have been there. Good friends have remarked that I was a pretty juicy apple. But I told them no, they had it wrong, I was an orange – and I knew.

Apple skins are thin, my skin was thick. Apples are one piece inside; I felt I had many different segments. Apples come in many different colours; I had a beautiful dark, pumpkin hue.

And so, after what has been decades of self-enquiry, after years of me preaching the importance of knowing thyself, turns out that I didn’t even know what kind of fruit I was (I seriously wonder what else I don’t know, but for now am satisfied that I don’t know what I don’t know, and all will be revealed in good time).

Finding out that I am an apple changes everything. I realised that the tough skin and the lack of integration were all ways that I adapted as a result my environment.

The science of epigenetics tells us that our daily experiences shape the way our genes express themselves. I guess this explained the aetiology of my “coping mechanisms”. But I still didn’t feel as if I knew who I was. I thought about all those kids who find out they’re adopted and feel as if their entire foundation is shaken.

So I am an apple.

As you can see, I still don’t know what to do with that fact. I am grateful that I am still a fruit. Ditto the fact that I am less likely to cause someone acidity. But I’m an apple. I was an orange. I WAS an orange. Really.

But I wasn’t. I was never an orange. I was just pretending to be one, even though I didn’t know I was faking it.

So now I can be used in a pie, or to make a Waldorf salad. I am friendly to diabetics and am great at carrying away toxicity from within the body. I can even be slathered with toffee to make a tasty Halloween treat.

I didn’t know I could do all those things. I thought I could just be juice. And maybe paired with salmon for some fish cakes (truth be told, I never much liked sitting next to fish, even the sexy kind).

So I am very, very happy to be an apple.

I also feel very proud of myself for having accepted this new fact so readily.

Ah yes. This new fact.

And then I realised something that both upset me and lit my insides right up: that I may not be an apple either. I might be a tomato (oh wow, pizzas, Bloody Marys and caprese salads) or even a kumquat (I have no idea what one does with a kumquat).

Now I was really in a pickle.

It is said that that to observe without analysis is the highest form of intelligence (J. Krishnamurti), so all that was left was for me, was not to label myself.

I could be a pear today, an avocado tomorrow and a Chinese gooseberry next week. No one would probably even notice and it feel like I was on holiday. It was so refreshing. It could be anything I wanted to.

Now I really was happy.

Because all I needed to do be, was myself.

2 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page