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  • Sona Parmar

Frankly My Dear...

Have you been making a spectacle of yourself running about after a man who’s not in love with you, when you might have any of the bucks in the county?

- Scarlett’s father, Gone With The Wind



Why do human beings always seem to want what they cannot have? What is it that is so alluring about that which is denied to us?


In my experience, when something’s been taken off the menu, it make us feel unworthy.


“I can’t have that that food/body/job/money/partner because I’m not good enough.”


Yes, it hurts.


Because when we are rejected, it mirrors the childhood wound at the core of all childhood wounds: that of abandonment.


And so, we then go on to fight for the thing in question, often not even thinking about whether or not we really want said thing - or whether we would even be happy in the having of it.


The trick, when faced with these sorts of disappointments, is to see these things as blessings in disguise. Rejection is God’s protection and all that.


Because it is.


You see, when we are aligned, we don’t need to chase after things. They simply land in our lap.


By chasing after something, anything, it brings pain, suffering and, perhaps worst of all, it takes you off course. Then, your internal GPS has to work doubly hard to get you back on track.


Had you stayed on the highlighted route in the first place, you would have gotten easily to where you were meant to end up - without the additional fanfare that free will often brings.


It is much the same as allowing yourself to sleep. All you can do is create the right conditions. If you try and make yourself sleep, it’s very likely you’ll be up til 1am.


So the next time something seems way out of your reach, show up, do the work (yes, the work is required), and then know that the right thing will come at the right time. You don’t need to chase.


Rather you need to learn how to receive the great things that have already been allocated for you.


And step one is to trust, the exact same way you trust that you will fall asleep every night - almost as if by magic.


So let go, exhale and be grateful to all the things that have been denied to you.


Because, frankly my dear, tomorrow is another day.


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