As lockdown eases and the clinic has gotten busier, I’d like to share a few of the statements that I heard this week:
“I’m fed up of meeting men who just want to depend on me.”
“I’ve been on this medication for 15 years. Surely, it’s here to stay.”
“I’m worried that the move back to my home country will be stressful.”
“I’m so tired of sleeping badly.”
“It feels like I’m always going to be fat/bloated/childless.”
What do they all have in common?
Well, before I answer that, let talk about bananas. I’d like you not to think about bananas.
Not to think about bananas.
But you can’t.
Because I said it.
The minute you read the word, you’re thinking of bananas. It doesn’t matter what instruction I gave you about the bananas, there they are, floating around in your mind, as yellow as can be.
This is how the Laws of the Universe work.
(Before I continue, I should say that it doesn’t really matter where you believe in these Laws, the Universe or any of it. Think of them like gravity or electricity. They exist, even if you can’t see them. Yes, you can see their effects and, if you pay close attention, you can witness the Laws of the Universe too.)
You see, the Universe sees in pictures. If you say no bananas, it sees bananas. If you say, “no more medication”, it sees medication. Ditto, unsuitable significant others, poor sleep, love handles, faulty digestion, and uncertain plans.
What my patients were all telling me, is what they didn’t want and, as a result, they were getting what they (subconsciously) were focusing on.
You ALWAYS get what you focus on.
Let that sink in. Concentrate on your spouse’s flaws and it’s only a matter of time before you get divorced. Focus on how you don’t have enough money? Guess what, suddenly you actually have even less. Think about how you’re not getting pregnant? Honestly, you are probably never going to have a baby.
Yes, it sounds harsh, but this is not something I read in a book – I’ve seen in first-hand, time and time again (OK, I may have also read it in a book.)
We have 60,000 thoughts a day (I overthink, so it’s probably closer to 70,000) and what I can tell you is that the world literally is a reflection of your own mind (Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra 2:3 is a wonderful reference for those who are interested).
To quote Winston Churchill, “the price of greatness is responsibility over each of your thoughts.”
But even if you are just aiming for mediocrity, perhaps a daily bowel movement, instead of being constipated the whole week, wouldn’t you like to reach that goal? Of course you would.
So start thinking about what you would like, that you’d like to be lean and energetic, feeling inspired, and comfortable with the unknown. And who knows, maybe you can even think of your liver smiling away. It’s really quite simple.
You get what you focus on.
So now just make sure that it’s something a little more exhilarating than bananas.