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  • Writer's pictureSona Parmar

Fifty Shades

Updated: Oct 4, 2021

Grey. A mixture of black and white. Not a colour I like.

I like black. I like white. I like the colours separate. I like them at opposite ends of the spectrum. I like to know where I stand.

Grey is messy. Grey is uncomfortable. Grey means getting out of my comfort zone.

According to Brené Brown “He or she who has the greatest capacity for discomfort rises fastest.” As a Type A individual, I’m all about rising. I’m all about growth. So it looks like I need to make friends with this treacherous Mr Grey.

Let me give you an example. I may be looking into creating a line of healthy snacks. Before I went to my first meeting about this project, I met a friend for a coffee. He asked why, given that I don’t believe in snacking, I would even consider such a venture.

Yes, it’s true, I don’t think people should be snacking. Patients of mine are told, quite strictly, that it’s three meals a day with nothing in between (important in resetting hormones and giving the liver a break.). So what gives?

While I would love to think that everyone listens to everything I have to say, I am, first and foremost, a realist. There are people, many people, who don’t agree with me, and if that’s the case, what would I rather? That people eat healthy snacks, or a bunch of fried foods with no nutritional value? And there’s my grey: uncomfortable, chaotic and scary - all forcing me to grow.

Living in the grey also means me taking, what I call, massive imperfect actions. I am the kind of person who likes to wait ‘til all the stars are (metaphorically) in alignment before embarking on something. I’m not procrastinating; I’m trying to do things perfectly.

This is when I remember the words of American psychologist, Marshall Rosenberg: “if anything is worth doing, it’s worth doing poorly’. And this is how this newsletter was born.

I wanted to get my ideas out there, but I hadn’t yet completed my new website, but out it went anyway. The website can come later. Or not. Either way, I’m communicating the things I want to other people, without worrying what they think. Job (almost) done.

So what does living in the grey look like for you?

It may not feel like it at first, but the potential for growth is huge. Just take one thing at a time.

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